The Presenting Problem May not be the Problem
Mike Ferguson, Fresh Ground Consulting
Leaders are listeners and as listeners we must remember that the presenting problem is rarely the primary problem. While therapists learn this early in their training, the rest of us generally learn from experience.
The following is not an uncommon scenario. I meet with a leader/client who wants help with strategic planning. As we talk, he seems very interested in how his staff would participate in the planning session. I am pleased with this because some managers resist the level of involvement from staff that I encourage.
But as we talk, it becomes clear to me that there is something lurking under the surface. I ask him how he feels about the planning process I proposed. He says it looks great, but I can see he is distracted. Then I do something that I think is a important skill for leaders who believe that listening is critical to their success. I ask the second question.
“If you had one concern about the planning session, what would it be?”
This question forces him to focus and sort through his undefined concerns. After further discussion, and gently not allowing the subject to be dropped, though the client tries, I discover that he is worried that a particular employee is going to sabotage the planning process. The client goes to great pains to tell me what a good and loyal employee this person is, but the more open ended questions I ask, the clearer it becomes that this employee has actually become a problem. I learn that by scheduling the planning sessions, the manager is actually attempting to address his real first-order problem, his feeling that he no longer has control of his team.
The planning sessions get put on the back burner while we address the more immediate issues.
Most people, especially those who have experienced some success as entrepreneurs and business leaders, are good enough at reading people to sense when there is unease or a question lingering in the air. When we ask, “Is there something wrong?” it’s because we have picked up on an inflection, or expression, or body language that tells us that a loop remains open.
Some people think that their responsibility ends there, that if the employee (or client) has an unspoken question or concern, they need to speak it. How often have you heard a manager say, “I’m not a mind reader?”
It is true that repeated inquiry, searching doggedly for the unspoken concern, can signal insecurity and a kind of co-dependent behavior. And some people, when behaving in a passive aggressive or manipulative manner, may seek to have thoughts “dragged out of them.” When patterns emerge over time, from either side of the conversation, there is a problem that goes deeper than the topic at hand (see tomorrow’s blog).
I’m not talking about patterns of behavior. But in your professional encounters and relationships, remember that the presenting problem is rarely the problem, and ask the second question. Whenever possible, try to ask open-ended questions rather than yes or no questions, which is one of the keys to active listening. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re a good listener just because you know how to keep your mouth closed.