Receiving Feedback from Staff
Mike Ferguson, Fresh Ground Consulting
Nearly 17 years ago I was unexpectedly promoted into my first real management position. Up to that point, I had managed programs and a significant corp. of volunteers, but other than a shared administrative assistant, I had never really managed people who were on payroll, at least not on a professional level. I was excited, but a little nervous about managing a staff of professional service providers.
When I assumed my new position I found a staff consumed with drama. Personality conflicts had been allowed to fester.
As a leader, I am always inclined toward making the covert overt and I rarely accept anyone’s version of events without question. My new staff figured out quickly that the new boss wasn’t the same as the old boss and that I would not be playing them off each other, keeping them off balance in order to feel in control myself. If you wanted to talk to me about another employee, and there were no legal issues involved, I wanted that other employee in the room.
Eventually, after the crisis had passed, I softened this stance. If someone just needed to get something off their chest, I was happy to listen as long as they didn’t mind when I helped them see how they had contributed to the situation. But if someone expected me to do something about it, both employees had to be in the room.
These changes worked out, but I didn’t do as well when it came to receiving feedback from my staff. They were all mental health professionals, albeit, young in their careers. So they had some experience in framing their feedback in an appropriate and nonthreatening manner. Still, I found myself responding defensively more often than not. The defensive boss is not an uncommon character, so I’m sure you can imagine these scenes.
I sought the advice of a mentor who was familiar with my staff. He said that he noticed how I was not drawn into the personality conflicts among the staff, and he said that as a result, the problems were beginning to fade and they were working as a team. He asked me how I managed to do that, so I explained my approach.
He said this was a good way of handling things. Then he surprised me. He asked me why I did not handle the situation the same way when the person they were complaining about was me.
I needed someone outside of the workplace that I could talk to and gain perspective about the feedback I received from my staff. I found someone, and from that point forward my defensiveness in the face of criticism decreased significantly. This was due in part to increasing maturity, as a person and as a manager. But I also found it much easier to remain present and listen and learn from my staff when I knew I would be able to check in with someone else about what I was hearing.
This is a topic that I will revisit in future blogs because there is a lot more to say.
We should not tolerate personal attacks, diatribes, or attempts at manipulation. But as leaders we must be listeners, even when it means listening to uncomfortable criticism. In my experience, our ability to do this depends less on intestinal fortitude than it does on an ability to step back from the encounter and review the content objectively. This is best accomplished with a trusted friend or mentor who is not directly affected by your performance in the workplace.